Yes, you are Spartacus. The idealized male was once a strong warrior who could wield a sword with one hand and chauvinistically whack women's behinds with the other. That idealized male certainly was a complete buffoon. Conversely, what the fuck is this new male? Why does he need a swingamajig for his testicles?
Yes, you are the new male yuppie. You get the occasional manicure. You drive a hybrid car. You drink Fair Trade coffee. You partake in a weekly yoga class. Your morally superior life was motoring along so well (fueled by ethanol, of course) and leaving such a miniscule ecological footprint, until your yoga instructor decided to have a little field trip and hold this week's class on kitsilano beach, where the majority of your ass is visible in your new mansy one-piece yoga suit.
This blog post is by no means a hearkening back to a simpler time when men were less gay. Nor does it aim to suggest that metrosexuality is so progressive a movement that all should embrace it. Lululemon laid out an April Fool's prank and I happily took the bait. Maybe I'm not as metrosexual as I thought.
