Tie your tangled tongue

If there is one thing I have learned from Taking Back Sunday's soon to be released (June 2nd) fourth album New Again, it is that vocalist Adam Lazzara is not much of a songwriter on his own. If there is a second thing I have learned, it is that Adam Lazzara still looks really good in a vest. Despite the fact that the whole "emo" vest and tie alternative-dressy trend is long over, Lazzara still sports vests and still looks rather smashing in them. Back to my initial point, this new album features TBS 3.0, the new Taking Back Sunday operating system that has Lazzara as the sole songwriter and band leader. In previous versions of TBS, Lazzara had a strong male influence as his right-hand man, mentor, and creative collaborator. Apparently, as Lazarra has matured (he is no longer a visible mess on stage, sprawling around and missing half the lyrics, and he now has a son) he no longer is in need of a big brother-type of bandmate. Seeing as new member Matt Fazzi certainly takes a back seat  in comparison to former members John Nolan and Fred Mascherino, my devious conspiracy theory appears to ring true. 

Lyrically, New Again is rather weak. The title track album opener essentially has four lines that are repeated in a varying order about 80 times and cleverly reference Little Red Riding Hood. Except there is nothing clever about it whatsoever, "What long arms you have / All the better to hold you down." Upon the release of 2006's Louder Now, I remember complaining repeatedly that the lyrics paled in comparison to the previous two TBS albums. In fact, I argued that the majority of songs appeared to not really be about anything and served simply as collections of quotable lines that could be used on one's myspace profile to sound profound. However, after reviewing the lyrics on New Again, Louder Now is like Keep The Aspidistra Flying. Not only are the lyrics on New Again devoid of much meaning, they are not even poetically quotable, "I put my money where my mouth is."

The song "Capital M-E" could potentially be the most lyrically poignant on the album, as it is about former member Mascherino. Finally, a song that is actually about something. However, the lyrics do not really say much--this is yet another underwritten track. The lyrics do indeed articulate my earlier point that Mascherino was a type of mentor to Lazarra, "All I ever did was look up to you," and even takes a decent jab at the former guitarist/back-up vocalist, "Divinities fell correctly beneath / The receding pride of his twenties." However, beyond those couple of lines the song really does not say much....something about Fred being nice but then slithering away and that he is older than Adam. Ohhhh burn!

Beyond the poor quality lyrics, I find New Again to be disappointing musically as well. I find there to be little that is memorable on each track and any hook is blatantly obvious--generally a cringe-producing over-repetition of one line in the chorus, like in "Catholic Knees", "Everything was moving so fast/Everything was moving so fast." Furthermore, this album is devoid of much of an edge. Though I found Louder Now to be a lot more radio-friendly than past albums, New Again is even more radio-friendly as it avoids any screaming or designated "hard" parts. Now that Lazarra is a clean-cut fully functioning member of society, I doubt TBS will ever have this edge again. The only track that stands out is closer "Everything Must Go," which follows the format of past TBS slow-moving, dramatic build-up songs like "One-Eighty By Summer" and "My Blue Heaven." Also, the track has a half-decent chorus with an actual quotable line, "You quote the good book when it's convenient," and some nice high-pitched singing courtesy of Lazarra. 

Oh how I miss these days...

TBS - New Again

No matter what, this image puts me in a good mood. 

Ride the rocket, you sick fuck

I find that a mildly observant ride upon Toronto's subway system is like a brief history lesson on the countervailing visions of the future of the city's architectural character. Each station captures a specific period of Toronto's architectural history (as of 1954 anyway). Two specific stations tend to stand out in regards to this: Yorkdale and Downsview.

Completed in 1978, Yorkdale subway station provides a vision of what some believed the future to be like---in 1950. The usage of a glass dome, lots of chrome panels, and unflattering curvature makes the station look like some type of interstellar docking hub complete with a parking garage for your flying car, a vending machine that dispenses meals in pill form, anti-communist propaganda advertisements, and the underlying suggestion that blacks should stand in a different area of the hub from everyone else. I suppose that when architect Arthur Erickson completed the station he had an intense feeling of satisfaction and said to his associates, "We've done it. This is the future." Sorry Art, but you were a little late. The future called, it said don't fucking bother with the whole space hub design. 

Just two stops north of the space hub that never was is Downsview station. Completed in 1996, Downsview was the first new subway station to open in over 20 years and marked a vast difference in design as a result. The station features quite a bit more open space, higher ceilings, and more aesthetically appealing design overall compared to most subway stations. Though I still consider this station to be one of the nicest the TTC has, I find it mildly humorous that a station that was thought to be state of the art a little more than ten years ago now is commonplace amongst most contemporary architecture in Toronto. In fact, I dare to go so far as to say that the station actually has a near-institutional feel to it, as many of the new wings of hospitals, government buildings, and libraries follow the same design principles as Downsview station. That's right girl, I went there. 

Next week find my critique of art on the Sheppard line. Haha, I kid. I think I could do so in a few lines:

• Remember those magic eye pictures? Now you don't have to with the tile art at Sheppard station. What's that? Oh, a farm! 
  
• The warped clocks at Bayview are reminiscent of Salvdor Dali. You know, if Dali sucked and thus was a low cost alternative to a real artist that was commissioned by a misinformed board of directors who decided to build a subway line that exists only to provide a transit link to IKEA (that still requires you to take a shuttle bus from Leslie station)
• The numerous portraits of feet and backs of heads in Bessarion station remind us that we are all in this together...this crazy world....we are the world, we are the children....give peace a chance....do they know it's Christmas?
• Many of the tiles at Leslie station are adorned with the text "Sheppard & Leslie" in varying handwriting. I commend the TTC for allowing a third grade art class to provide artistic direction in the station.

Hustlers Grab Your Guns

I realize this blog has become embedded media-heavy as of late, but I had to share this shitshow.

I have never found Toronto's K-OS to be particularly interesting or inventive. Yes, I certainly do have a bias against most hip hop, but I have never found the force-fed inclusion of indie-rock and jazz touches in a few of K-OS's songs to be particularly novel. Such ideas have been prevalent in hip hop for years (primarily, I suspect, as a ploy to reach a wider audience). Remember when Jimmy Page played the "Kashmir" riff on Puff Daddy-P. Diddy-Papa Roach Daddy-Puff Man Jenkins-Diddy Do Daddy's "Come With Me" ? Unfortunately, I do. 

Further proof of how unimpressed I am with K-OS: Sir Sebastien Grainger himself played drums on the track "Sunday Morning" (and appeared in the video, where both men appear initially wearing Canada Goose down parkas, which, in case you haven't already learned, fucking suck), yet the rapper still does not get my seal of approval. 

It would simply be in bad taste on its own for K-OS to "sample" Phantom Planet's "California." This was the band's biggest hit and everyone with even the slightest interest in music over the past ten years is at least mildly familiar with said song. However, the fact that the song (or a heavily spliced version thereof) was used as the theme song to The OC makes K-OS's usage of it pathetic. Furthermore, name-dropping Natalie Portman? Come on. Apparently it is über-trendy to use Natalie Portman's name (for example, lamecore band Natalie Portman's Shaved Head), but K-OS is not going for trendy, nor is he simply name-dropping. When asked about the song, he had this to say: 

"KRS-One said that verbal magic has the ability to allow its user to 'rap' their way into a new reality. So, I'm trying to make things happen. I happen to love what that woman represents and Star Wars, of course."

I stand corrected. I never realized K-OS was a magician. This is probably all just an illusion where he makes us think that he is a hack and suddenly the true artist is revealed. Oh K-OS, you are magnificent. 

John Galliano needs a better tailor

I only saw about fifteen minutes of The Devil Wears Prada, mostly in hopes of getting another quick glimpse of Anne Hathaway's rack, like in Brokeback Mountain (I certainly did not watch the latter in sweaty anticipation of an explicit romp between the film's two leading men... a romp so homoerotic it could give me goosebumps... two men touching each other physically and emotionally in ways a woman never could... or something), during which time I learned the following: Anne Hathaway has had too much mainstream success to ever show her breasts on film again (until she does an "edgy" film in a few years to show she is still "real") and Anna Wintour is apparently an icy bitch.

Although this 60 Minutes interview did provide me with some interesting points regarding Wintour's iron grip of Vogue and moreover, the fashion industry as a whole, what I found most interesting was the fact that Morley Safer is still alive and kicking and landing pretty decent interviews. I mean, did you hear the guy? He sounds like he has already picked out his casket and made the necessary arrangements for his funeral, down to the last l'chaim. His comparison of runway models to cadavers could be taken as an ironic joke. 

Ultimately, what I really took from this segment is as follows: 

1. Anna Wintour acknowledges people on elevators

2. Little bob haircuts are still cool, even when the sides of the hair style are curved too far towards your mouth, causing you to constantly get hair in your mouth

3. John Galliano is in need of a good tailor, Karl Lagerfeld already has one

Coldplay/Romo Roto Mashup?

As far as mainstream radio-friendly Gossip Girl-approved music goes, I don't mind this White Rabbits Track. I kept expecting the song to "kick in" with full drums and irritating wailing from the singer about "missing you, girl," but thankfully it never came. The usage of such simplified, almost tribal double drumming reminded me of a band I have had the privilege of seeing a few times around town. 

If that Girl Talk guy was well-versed enough in the underground music scene, he'd be kicking himself right now for not thinking of this mashup. For the rest of you, I will fill you in just in case: Romo Roto features a member of Toronto's dd/mm/yyyy and a member of the city's box-rocking girrrrrrrls Machetes. Together they play a purely drum and vocals brand of music that is as refreshing as it is unique--sort of like Fresca. Find their homemade CDR EP linked (and feel privileged, as it is uber-limited y'alls).

Romo Roto - I Am The Fight

Traitor

Overall, I have been a staunch Obama supporter. When he smoked, I held my breath and looked the other way. When he started flapping his ears in an attempt to fly, I heralded it an environmentally sound way to travel. When his Air Force One plane had a lookbook photoshoot over Manhattan that many feared was actually another 9/11, I defended him vehemently by saying, "How else will the picture make the front page of the site? People don't just charitably hype you." 

No, his economic stimulus package has not yet given much bloodflow to the market's flaccid penis. No, the troops have not yet withdrawn from Iraq. However, he did get a puppy for the Whitehouse. Also, he certainly showed his patriotism yesterday during lunch with Vice President Biden, as Obama ordered a cheeseburger. 

However, something was amiss at this presumably all-American lunch. Obama betrayed the American public with just a few damning words: "I can haz dijonz?" That's right, not only did the President reference a faddish website about cats, but he asked for faggy French spicy mustard for his burger. You don't win wars with the French as an ally and you don't top hamburgers with French mustard. Would you like to know what John McCain has on his burger? Nothing. It gives him indigestion and bad gas all afternoon. That's the American way. 

Sure, Hipster Runoff was cute for a little while back in 2k8, but Lennon was the definitive post-ironic hipster (until he started giving peace a chance, anyway). 

A flu by any other name...

I think it's a well-known fact by now (perpetuated by such bona-fide yid celebrities as Jason Biggs and Adam Brody) that, as a stereotypical whole, Jews are the neurotic black sheep of society, who will "Bahhhh" only when there's something to kvetch about, or when the caller ID displays their mother's number. Being raised in a pseudo-Jewish home by parents who would contradict their beliefs every fifteen minutes ("No, no, it's okay to eat shrimp as long as plastic utensils and paper plates are used...it was in the Torah"), I have immersed myself enough in the Jewish community and Jewish history to conclude that there is NOTHING that accounts for the neuroses of the average Jew. It's not like each preceding generation has had much war, persecution, mass killings, or Woody Allen films plaguing it. Ultimately, the biggest problem facing the average jew is what to do with all of the Jew Gold (or Gelt) one has accumulated from such momentous occasions as Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, finding the afikoman, and Ben Stiller Day. 

That being said, Israeli Health Minister Ya'acov Litzman's decision to refer to Swine Flu as Mexico Flu in all official government documentation is doing little to break the stereotype. Oy vei, yes, jews don't eat pork (unless it is done so with plastic utensils on a paper plate), but really, stop kvetching and just call it what the rest of the world calls it. Your people have been marginalized enough over the years, don't give the mighty Mexicans a reason to shun you as well. Israeli-Mexican relations should be a top agenda for the Israeli government, far above that Gaza Strip thing and organizing the Ben Stiller Day Parade.