In the mid-90s when Eve6 put out their first album, which was a mildly enjoyable collection of post-grunge songs (before they became a sad, sad, post-Sublime band [I suppose that is slightly better than Ill Scarlett, who actually believe that they are the reincarnation of Sublime]), the ginger-tinged singer stated in an interview that the band really likes music videos that incorporate the band performing. Personally, I enjoy when a music video has a mild plot line (generally that involves something a little left of centre) and is able to incorporate some performance shots of the band in a manner that flows naturally. This brings me to the point of this post, The Blood Brothers' (yes, get used to my obsession) video for "Laser Life."






On a related note, I find their video for "Ambulance vs Ambulance" to be one of the finest low-budget videos I have ever seen.

My grandpa's sexier than your grandpa.

As if the Japanese did not already have enough odd fetishes (used schoolgirl underwear, anyone?), there is apparently a market for elderly porn in the land of the rising sun, or as I shall now rename it, the land of the rising wrinkled penis. In hopes that you are a faithful web-gazer and have clicked the embedded links I've provided (hint: if you haven't done so, do so now...do it!), to quote Derek Zoolander, "Fortunately not too many people I know read your little Time magazine or whatever it's called." If Shigeo's wife and daughter were indeed unaware of his porn career, I think there is an excellent chance they now know about it thanks to Time. Apparently, thanks to this here interweb, information travels quickly--especially when it involves pornography and/or anything potentially damning to one's life.

Apparently, if I had my heart set on becoming an elderly porn director (do you think I would actually have to stay and provide directions, or could I simply leave a running camera in the room and take off until they were done?) I could simply visit a nursing home, or at least this one. Old people certainly should be allowed to perform whatever drooping sexual acts they so desire and this Bob fellow's son should lighten the fuck up (I mean, how many times have I walked in on my parents? Actually, none, but for three years I could hear them trying to make my younger brother on a nightly basis). Ultimately, the son should turn what he sees as a negative into a positive: film that arthritic hardcore and market it in Japan.

But surely, expulsion is not the answer.

When I was in the final stages of my pubescence and my testicles nearly reached their full descent, I attended a party. After sipping three beers and half a Smirnoff Ice (I know...I know...) I made myself believe I was more drunk than I actually was. Or perhaps I was indeed drunk, I was a youngin' after all. Either way, the video you are about to see came on The Wedge. I remember thinking to myself that watching it was like doing LSD.....ON ACID!!!



Feel fucked up now? Good. Now some obligatory information:
The Avalanches are an electronic group from Australia. They have only released one album, 2000's Since I Left You, on which every track is comprised of vinyl samples from old music, television, and movies. One more tidbit of information you may enjoy (because I sure as hell did, so basically, you have to enjoy it--I run a totalitarian blog here) is that they once played a gig as The Swinging Monkey Cocks. Delicious.

The Avalanches - Since I Left You

I loved Jaguars in a past life

This post shall be another homage to the Blood Brothers. Prepare yourself. 

Are you adequately prepared? Good. 

Anything as artistically groundbreaking as the Blood Brothers unfortunately cannot last. I mean, look at what happened to Wham! After releasing five genre-bending albums that ripped the "scene" a new one, for reasons unknown the Brothers broke up. By no means do I wish to create gossip-driven controversy about the reasons surrounding the breakup, but I do find it notable that on final album Young Machetes, second vocalist Jordan did not have as integral of a role in the songs. He certainly took more of a background role compared to earlier albums, where often he had his own songs that were accented by Johnny Whitney's falsetto-on-acid vocals.

Furthermore, in their Dear John letter to fans announcing the breakup, the Brothers state that they feel it is best that their "futures move forward on separate paths." It would appear that there are only two paths: Jaguar Love and Past Lives.

The two post-Blood Brothers bands took only a few months to form and each is fronted by one of the two singers. Remember when Blink-182 broke up and Tom Delonge promised us all that his new band would cure AIDS, bring back orphans' parents, and provide us all with multiple orgasms? Well, Angels and Airwaves did not quite live up to the hype. Mark Hoppus on the other hand kept relatively quiet about (+44) and the end result was....well, a band that is nearly as crumby as AvA. Thankfully, neither of the two post-Blood Brothers have given me the enormous blue balls that AvA and (+44) did. 

I initially was a bit of a "hater" (but not of the playa' assortment) towards Jaguar Love (Whitney's band). The demo they streamed on myspace a few months back made me tearfully mourn the demise of the Blood Brothers. That being said, I put all my faith into Jordan's band Past Lives and the musical gods looked kindly upon me, as the initial live videos they had streaming were fantastic. Then I heard recorded demos of said songs and they were weak in comparison. Then, on the other side of town in an exterminator's van that actually was a sexy surveillance van run by sexy alien agents from a sexy spy organization....from OUTER SPACE, I nabbed the Jaguar Love EP. Fuck yeah, muchachos, fuck yeah. It doesn't sound anything like that disappointing first demo. In fact, it is fabulous. But hey, don't take my ill-informed word for it, you web-gazing scoundrel. 

Jaguar Love - EP

Past Lives - Demos

As a bonus, enjoy some Blood Brothers:

Crimes

Burn Piano Island, Burn

Give your kids American names

Perhaps I am a Sebastien Grainger groupie. This past Tuesday marked the release of Sebastien Grainger and The Mountains American Names EP. After seeing them perform three times now, it is due time that the band finally has released some material. Although the four-song EP includes two tracks I have heard in different forms over the past year and are nothing new ("American Names" and "Ways to come home"), it is nice to hear clean recordings of the two.

Had Grainger not been the heart and soul (and voice and lyricist) of Death From Above 1979, I am not so sure his new project would be such a success (not to suggest that it is even that big a success right now). The current "hip" music scene is abuzz with indie-dance bands that lean more towards either nu-disco or club-worthy dance music. That being said, it is difficult for a more traditional straight-forward rock and roll band to find a niche market to appeal to. Grainger's new band is quite a stretch from the fast-paced dance-punk of DFA1979 and certainly will not appeal to many of the former band's fans. Personally, I find them to be a breath of fresh air from the shoe-gazing arrogance of the current hipster scene. Gazing at your shoes during a song used to be an innocent act for slightly shy and slightly awkward "indie" kids in the early 90s, not an opportunity to look at your limited edition high-tops.

An excellent point that was made by a fellow Grainger groupie this past Monday night at the CD release at the Horseshoe was that with his neatly cropped brown hair, mustache, and all white ensemble, Grainger is beginning to look like Freddy Mercury these days. The photo above does not illustrate this well, but believe me, the comment was an apt one. It is rare that I actually agree with what someone shouts out at a concert ("Seven Yearrrrs").

Sebastien Grainger and The Mountains - American Names EP

Alphabetical Misanthropy

I have come to the realization that the alphabet has done me a disservice. Either that, or my parents awkwardly conceived me a few years past when they ought to have. Why do I say this? I will tell you presently: I should be a member of Generation X.

My rationale on the subject is as follows:

1. I fucking love flannel
2. Grunge music has influenced me more than I had initially realized and it comes through in the music I write
3. I work in a shitty store and am overqualified for the blithering nonsense I am required to do in order to earn just above minimum wage. Despite my BA, I will probably continue to work unfulfilling jobs that neither challenge me nor require any use of my intelligence. 
4. As a detraction to my proof, I do not have rich parents who constantly bail me out like some type of spoiled brat poorly played by Winona Ryder. Close enough, though. 

To further illustrate my point, enjoy a clip from Mr. Show:

I suppose I am a "slacker" by societal standards. However, I would like to be employed, just not for an employer that I have absolutely no faith in. Ultimately, I want to hang out, drink beer, play guitar, listen to Blood Brothers albums, and help some kids or animals somewhere in between and make enough to pay rent and purchase beer, shoes, guitar strings, a new record player, and some tofu. If you or anyone you know is seeking to employ an individual with those qualifications, please contact me. Otherwise, fuck you and your society's rules with all the crocheting and homemade fudge for the blind.