Black Bloc Party

I happen to have a step-cousin who is in his early-20s whom I have not seen for a good few years. I never particularly cared for him and the majority of my memories of him involve a runny nose and the constant smell of shit. This past weekend he hopped in his compact second-hand car and drove to Toronto, the big city, TO, tdot, where dreams come true, bedbugs run rampant from mattress to mattress, and a Starbucks is only a brick's throw away. Why? To partake in the G20 protests. His rationale? An overarching "hatred" of cops–apparently those law-enforcing sons of bitches have it in for him and always write him speeding and parking tickets. RISE UP AGAINST OPPRESSION!

I am not too sure (nor do I care) if he successfully rallied against his oppressors or was a martyr for his cause and faced 8-hour detention in the makeshift chainlink fence prison near Eastern Avenue. Essentially, my step-cousin sums up what these G20 protests were really about: suburban middle-class white youth with a penchant for violence due to constant video game playing who came to demonstrate unrest with their own pathetic lives by smashing windows, spraypainting that circle A symbol thing, wearing clever bandana-hoodie disguises, and stopping for a hot dog on the corner.

Calling themselves the Black Bloc, these "protestors" embarked on my fair city simply to engage in directionless violence and destruction, as this was the closest they could ever get to a real-life Grand Theft Auto: riot police, cop cars on fire, disregard for the rule of law. Yes, there certainly were some socialists/environmentalists/whateverists who participated in protests, but I think that those who truly stand for a cause (not just "fuck corporations," "America sucks," and the like) have at least a slight understanding that nothing is accomplished in our democratic society through violent uprising. Such acts of wanton destruction may be effective in weak states with poor government aparatuses, but not here.

Ultimately, the Black Bloc descendended upon Toronto to protest nothing more than the monotony of their own pathetic lives. Time to get back to your parents' basement, losers.