Your Mom wasn't your Dad's first. Your Dad nailed at least one new chick a night. Even a Bolivian immigrant. Your Dad got the clap twice and beat it over with a wooden board. Condoms? Don't even bother. AIDS scares your Dad about as much as that bear he wrestled in '68. He even nailed that bear's wife after the fight. Guess what else, son. Your Dad drank Canadian Club. Everyday. With every meal. For dessert. As a main course. Heard of the drink Rusty Nail? Well your Dad drank his Canadian Club with actual rusty nails in it. Go ahead and enjoy your wine cooler, son. Your Dad drank CC when he went fishing. Even that time he had a head-on collision with that 8 year-old in a paddle boat. That's right, he nailed the kid's Mom right after the accident. Your Dad was a man. What are you, you fucking piece of effeminate tampon waste? You're nothing. Nothing until you down some CC, load up your buds in a van, drive to a barn in the middle of the night, and nail the shit out of the animals. Only the female ones of course, your Dad wasn't a fag. Are you, son? Your Dad only loved one type of cock: the kind that were waiting inside the barn, trying to defend their sexy chicken wives. What did he like about those cocks? He liked snapping their necks with his bare hands and then sucking their blood for sustenance. That's right, your Dad was a goddamn succubus. But only for cock. Your Dad loved to suck cock.
