17 November 2008

Bumpy Lines


Do you remember the good old days when putting on a mock-British accent whilst singing some vaguely sexual lyrics gained you near-instant indie rock notoriety? This was a time long ago, before all this hipster nonsense was the supposed alternative culture and altbros wore skinny ties and danced awkwardly to The Killers at Dance Cave. During this era (2004-2006 AD) there were people who DID NOT wear skinny jeans and were still ACCEPTED as fully functioning members of alternative society. Unfuckingbelievable. No deep Vs either.

During the indiezoic period, it was musically acceptable to be a complete reproduction of Joy Division. In fact, such an act was heralded by indiezoic period emperor Pitchfork.

Luckily, back in 2004 Control had not yet been released and no one knew who Joy Division was. Had Interpol popped up on the scene recently, more than a few 30-somethings would recognize the "lucid expression of discontent and impending dread" Interpol vocalist Paul Banks exudes as a direct emulation of that depressed guy from that Control movie.

I must warn you, from here I will purport a conspiracy theory of sorts. No, it is not quite as half-baked as the Morrissey-Princess Diana conspiracy, but it is more legitimate than 9/11 Truth. Over the past five years or so, a few significant films have been released that are about musicians/bands who are either dead or far past their prime: Walk The Line, Ray, I'm Not Here, Control. Ultimately, I think this is simply a ploy to rejuvenate interest in the artists and sell merchandise.

The cast and crew of I'm Not Here worked in secrecy with the organizers of Bob Dylan's 2008 tour as well as the makers of dorm room full-size posters. There are many folk musicians (Sufjan Stevens, Rocky Votolato, Bon Iver to name a few) who sing about contemporary subjects and aren't 70 fucking years old and rich enough to buy a synagogue that should be plastered on dorm room walls and uploaded to iPods.

The cast and crew of Control were payed off by the estate of Ian Curtis in order to sell "that album with the bumpy lines thing" to entry level alts in order to collect royalties to pay for Natalie Curtis' Masters of Philosophy. Either that or they were paid off by Urban Outfitters to sell "t-shirts with the cover for that album with the bumpy lines thing."


Edit: To emphasize my poster point...