I hope your friends explode

I too can briefly toy with Photoshop to create a graphically poor "ironic" poster for my shitty event. I too can adopt a cutesy DJ name and "spin" a musically directionless set for hipster poseurs who are afraid to venture further West than Bathurst. I too can book electro acts and other DJs who will never quite gain alt-weekly notoriety beyond the "Last week in the clubs" three-line snippets. I too can over-expand my emerging empire of entry-level alt mediocrity and have three or four events a week that are all the FUCKING SAME: the same cookie-cut playlists, the same poorly dressed attendees, and the same roster of DJs. It is like Groundhog Day, but with a crappier soundtrack and instead of starring Bill Murray, it stars some asshole with an irritating near-ringlet of a mustache. I too can make my friends explode.