As I perused the aisles of Loblaws this fine sun-filled afternoon, I was greatly pacified by my discovery of a particular line of products. Loblaws now proudly carries select juices by Genesis Today. My personal favourite is Noni100, made from 100% pure wild-grown and harvested Noni juice, which according to the fine people at Genesis Today grows only in remote volcanic regions. mmmm volcanic lava fruit.
Upon visiting Genesis Today's website, my initial suspicion that the company is somehow linked to Scientology or some equally creepy pseudo-religious group (Mormons, Battlestar Galactica Fanclub) was only strengthened. The poor layout, misguided colour scheme, and insistence on the ominous Dr. Lindsey's expert analyses are all web-cult signs. Or at least signs of a pyramid scheme or a penis enlargement pill company.
At a price tag of over $50 for a 946ml bottle (also, 946ml? what an odd quantity...I would assume it is some type of cosmically significant number that relates to humanity's certain doom), one might say that Genesis Today is rather audacious for selling such expensive goods during an economic downturn. Personally, I salute them. Whether the economy is recessive or not, cult members need sustenance from their daily intake of Goji100.
