Traitor

Overall, I have been a staunch Obama supporter. When he smoked, I held my breath and looked the other way. When he started flapping his ears in an attempt to fly, I heralded it an environmentally sound way to travel. When his Air Force One plane had a lookbook photoshoot over Manhattan that many feared was actually another 9/11, I defended him vehemently by saying, "How else will the picture make the front page of the site? People don't just charitably hype you." 

No, his economic stimulus package has not yet given much bloodflow to the market's flaccid penis. No, the troops have not yet withdrawn from Iraq. However, he did get a puppy for the Whitehouse. Also, he certainly showed his patriotism yesterday during lunch with Vice President Biden, as Obama ordered a cheeseburger. 

However, something was amiss at this presumably all-American lunch. Obama betrayed the American public with just a few damning words: "I can haz dijonz?" That's right, not only did the President reference a faddish website about cats, but he asked for faggy French spicy mustard for his burger. You don't win wars with the French as an ally and you don't top hamburgers with French mustard. Would you like to know what John McCain has on his burger? Nothing. It gives him indigestion and bad gas all afternoon. That's the American way.